Mid-night, tired but can't sleep

It is over mid-night while I am still on computer and typing thing that I have it could help me release things out of my mind. Music is till on, same songs but I have lots in my list so, it's just turn shuffle, so, not so bother with it.

I don't know or can't find yet what is bothering me for about month and been sick for so long just cold or allergic with something. But just flu, it was too long already, I know I haven't get good sleep too, but that's still too long.

I have just booked flight to Vietnam yesterday just for don't loose my mileage that I have been collected when flew to U.S. few years ago. So, hopefully I could have some new views and get better pictures to my life, if I am happy for what I am doing now. While I'm writing now, I think one mosquito keeps bother me, it's its job to do that. But.. annoying...

I have done so many things for this 4 months working in new place until few days ago when I told my friend that I have to go for grand opening of an orphanage in Phuket, he told me I got to write my blogs about thing I have done per day, that's good idea, if I didn't get bored about writing. I also spent time reading lots, but some silly things, I know, but at least killing times. What the thing I like to most from everything it is Lak Sas company and making cards, that's good therapy for me and I could see how my condition of drawing to cope thing that bother me since I was 12, grade 6, for not a good drawing, but now seems everyone enjoys my card ever. I have never made same one. All I know I need scanner and printer to keep my job. That I enjoy, in another hand, I also need to start having some tool for sewing project again. Or that might be something I like more than anything else, but if I just work on that, would I be happy? I'm not sure.

Few weeks ago, I have made like mess or at least in my mind that I also didn't understand why I did this in this age. But can't say no if things already happened. I got to accept I have done and keep some part of that in my mind, telling no one. Because I don't know why I have to. I also hope I could see it clearer what my life will bring me too. Sometime know nothing is better, but sometime I just need to have something to be a clue then, I don't feel worthless like I am feeling now. Well, don't even know why? Like I said nothing I could find out about.

After this, I will try to read before sleep again. Life goes on, sleep, eat, toilet time, then, ... what life brings you to. Maybe I just need somebody else to talk to except friends or colleagues that I meet every day.